Evermore Demented (rightsaided) wrote in verlorenerschuh,
Evermore Demented

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Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

LJ stalking horror - a report by rightsaided.

elusiveshoe is stalking rightsaided
elusiveshoe’s REAL name : Latia Coleman
elusiveshoe’s REAL DOB : 14th November 1982
Height :167 cm Weight : 44.6 kg
elusiveshoe has dreamt about you : 23 times
elusiveshoe became interested in you : 24th April 2005
elusiveshoe’s latest dream about you
elusiveshoe wakes up in the middle of the night to the sight of you by the bed with your firm buttocks waggling jovially in your new stalkers face.
This is how elusiveshoe describes your relationship behind your back
‘We’ll be together forever. I know it. I can feel it in my heart. Thing’s have never been better between me and rightsaided!’
elusiveshoe’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
A pair of soiled underpants that you left out in your backyard after a night out on the razz.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
elusiveshoe had their tongue pierced just to win your approval.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
If I can’t have you, nobody can darling. I’d advise you to committ these words to memory.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 21 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"I think there’s a bomb in our house. My friend left a rucksack in here and I can hear ticking."
elusiveshoe’s Police File
elusiveshoe poses no real threat to society at large, unless of course your name is rightsaided. In that case, you are royally fucked.

Testimonies about elusiveshoe
avamarie - Worn out Musician
‘I’m completely fucking gutted to hear about all of this. I always liked elusiveshoe. Are you sure you’re accusing the right person?’
nothingsafe - Stone dead tripper
‘elusiveshoe was a depressing bore and I’m fucking glad they’ve been outted as a twat. Means I won’t have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.’
madmolly - Rotten heathen
‘Surprise Surprise, elusiveshoe’s a dirty fucker? Tell me something different.’
idleshoe - Worships the sun
‘elusiveshoe’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’

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